The Adventures of Elmo
by Super Sonic Fanfictions
Summary: Elmo will do anything to get some drugs, and defeat Barney. Enjoy!
1. Meet Elmo

The Adventures of Elmo

Elmo is red. He is a popular character among five year olds. He may be fun and numbers in the show, but he leads a pretty inappropriate life.

It was early in the morning. Elmo was puking his brains out.

Elmo- Ah f*ck. To much vodka and saukee. 50 bottles to be-

Elmo coughed some more. I think he coughed a small bit of his lung. Elmo went to watch some TV.

Elmo- I had enough. Damn it. I need to get some more "legal" marijuana.

Elmo got out his phone. He called his "friends". He called Sonic. Sonic didn't answer. On the voice mail it said "Sorry! Getting laid!"

Elmo- F*ck. I hate Sonamy.

Little kiddies think that Elmo loves goldfish more than anything. He actually eats the innocent creatures all the time. He got hungry, so he shoved three of them in his mouth. They were raw. Elmo's favorite meal was vodka, saukee, cocaine, and heroine on top of his goldfish.

Now that you know a little about Elmo, the adventures will begin in Chapter 2.


	2. Elmo Joins the UWR

The Adventures of Elmo II

It was late in the night. Elmo was sleeping peacefully. This peace will be interrupted however. Something jumped into his house.

"F*ck!" Elmo shouted, remembering that if it was a bird, he could do it. Why? Tourettes Guy can.

This mysterious thing grabbed Elmo, and knocked him out. Later, Elmo found himself in a room with a big table. Tails Doll, Weegee, Tails Weegee (on the cover), and Taboo (from Smash Bros.)

"We have brought you here, to join the UWR." Taboo said eerily.

"It stands for the United Weirdos Republic." Weegee added.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring me home ya bitches." Elmo said carelessly.

Elmo ran across the table to punch Taboo. Taboo teleported to the back of Elmo and choked him.

"LISTEN!" Taboo shouted. "We need to destroy Barney, Sonic, and Squid Girl!" Taboo said.

Elmo actually wanted to help now. Elmo had been planning Barney's death. He was also jealous of Sonic, because he wanted a "little something" from Amy.

So Elmo got ready. He planned to fake being friends with Barney, and help on the TV show.

1 day later.

"Time to show this f*cker!" Elmo said excitedly.

It was a busy day on the set for Barney. He was happy to have a little help.

"I love you. You love me. We're a f*ckin' family". Barney sang.

Elmo walk into the stage. The crowd cheered vigorously.

"Hello Elmo!" Barney happily said.

"Hi 'Blarney'!" Elmo replied. Barney got a bit pissed.

So Barney and Elmo did their acts. They did the dance from Night at the Ruxberry, while listening to What is Love. The kids came later. They were all obese.

"Well Blarney. You have a screwed up fan base."

"What?" Barney asked.

It started! Elmo jumped on top of Barney and took out a knife, knocking him to the ground.

"Elmo! How could you?" Barney stupidly asked.

"F*ck you Blarney!" Elmo yelled.

The crowd laughed their asses off. They thought this was all part of the act.

"Quick kids!" Barney said in panic.

A fat kid with rosy cheeks jumped on top of Elmo, and accidentally raped him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Elmo yelled.

"There's no need to fear! Underdog is here!" Underdog suddenly yelled. This is the 60s Underdog please note.

Underdog beat the living crap out of Elmo, Barney, and the kids.

To be continued.


	3. The UWR

The Adventures of Elmo III

I haven't fully explained UWR fully. It is a sinister organization, with a dark history.

When Hitler knew he was gonna die in WWII, he started the UWR, because that guy is just one fat ass, seamen drinking, coward, f*cker. It was carried down through generations. Now it is run by Taboo. Even Satan is part of it. It is up to Nintendo characters, Sonic and company, Hatsune Miku, Underdog, Squid Girl and company, Luffy and his crew, Mario and friends, and Modoka and company, to destroy the UWR, and avoid rupture.

The UWR wants world domination, and rupture. It'd be hard to stop them. Tails Doll, Weegee, Tails Weegee, and Putler, are the Elites. They are so strong, they can conquer countries by themselves. Elmo wants to be an Elite. Why did the UWR want Elmo to join though?

He had the Ultimate Weirdness inside of his soul. This is the greatest power in the universe. Elmo just doesn't know it.

At night, please pray to God, that the UWR will die in a ditch. Thank you.


	4. Elmo and Tails Doll Strike

The Adventures of Elmo IV

It was a sunny weekend day. Most people were very gay. Except the UWR. Today was another meeting. Everyone was there. Taboo was quite pissed about Elmo's defeat. "How dare you lose!?" Taboo boomed.

"It was the kid! The kid I tell yas!" Elmo replied.

"Well don't let it happen again." Taboo murmured.

Elmo and Tails Doll were in a park, walking around.

"You are pretty pathetic Elmo. You got raped by a fat kid!"

"Whatever. Want some coke?"

"Sure!"

Tails Doll excepted his gift.

Elmo saw Amy. Now was his chance for glory.

"It's the person I wanna f*ck!" Elmo whispered to Tails Doll.

"Haha! Your such a furry!" Tails Doll replied.

Since Elmo was a drunk, he thought Mega Man physics existed. He walked up to Amy and tried to slide. He collapsed. Amy laughed her ass off. So did Tails Doll. But Elmo got ticked off, and kidnapped her by using a gun as a threat. They drove her to Taboo in a white van. Classic.

Elmo said "No one can stop us now!" Tails Doll was driving. The police started shooting at the van. It hit the wheel, causing it to curve. Elmo got sent flying out of the car. The police took Tails Doll, and freed Amy. Elmo wasn't done yet.

"Taboo gave this to me. Go Pikachu!" Elmo said.

A familiar figure jumped out of the popo car. It was Mappy! He ran to Pikachu. He threw a piece of Pokemon food to Elmo. Pikachu ate it, and became rather ravenous. It raped Elmo. Wow. It also bit off his penis.

Underdog came and beat up Elmo. The UWR launched an offensive to save Elmo and Tails Doll. It cost millions. Things were going bad.

To be continued.


	5. UWE vs the United States of America

The Adventures of Elmo VIII

Taboo was now extremely furious. There was another meeting. More people were there. Tyrants in history were even revived! Like Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

"You insolent fool!" Taboo exclaimed. He then ordered for Elmo to be stared by Weegee in the dungeon. He made a debate about how Elmo's power was to be dealt with if he figured it out. "We kamikaze into him!" Hirohito yelled. "Nein nein nein!" Hitler and Kaiser repeated.

Later Taboo ordered an invasion of America. It involved Elmo and Tails Doll destroying a link of military bases, west coast to east coast. The Tyrants would also help. However, Taboo had to tell Elmo his secret power, if he was going to emerge victorious.

Later.

"Elmo." Taboo whispered. "You have the power to do anything. You were born with the Ultimate Weirdness. "What!?" Elmo replied. "Thanks mofo!" Elmo yelled and ran off. Elmo denied orders. He ran off to DC. Uh oh. He found a floating stone. It was Model X's spirit! (This is taking place a thousand years after Mega Man ZX. See playthroughs or play the game if you're confused).

"Who the hell are you?" Elmo asked.

"I am Model X. I am bored as shit, so I don't care if I serve evil." Model X replied. Model X combined with Elmo! Just picture Elmo combined with X. It looks retarded.

Elmo ran into the White House. He shot all over the place. "You wanna mess with Obama?" A mysterious voice said. "Bring it on Alabama!" Elmo challenged.

Elmo kept shooting at Obama. Obama falcon punched Elmo to the Monument. Elmo charged up his Elmo buster, and shot it! It landed on McCain. "At least I got the old wannabe." Elmo said to himself. Obama jumped in the air and brought the house down with Elmo!

To be continued.


End file.
